It's Chaos!

In this moment, this period of my life, this times, the present, my teenage human body and mind can be found in total chaos, in a total disaster, that some people may call natural disaster but I'm pleased to call it by the truth, a fucking chaos created by my fucking self... As you can se in the previous sentence, I'm psychologically in a literal state of induced bipolarity, were I over think and under estimate things, where I see the optimistic, the realistic, the hopefully, the pessimist and the extreme opposite way of how facts happens in my life.

I'm at a point of my life were I love how I live, but I want to share this world to the people I "left behind" a few months back. To the people that I will be forced to returned to, which kept moving forward in this old world of mine, WITHOUT ME! I'll have to leave friends, family, lovers, strangers and haters in this new world having not other choice but to hope and try not to lose contact and not to lose awesome relationships and experiences... To be honest all this seems hard as hell, before coming here I didn't expect this division between both sides, between this land that counting from London is in -7 or this other we can find at +1. Kind of confusing but exactly that way it's inside my head.

There is also this part that scares the sh*t out of me. The rest of my life:

- I left after finishing my 10th. grade in school, I'm now in a German Gymnasium doing my 11th. grade. But why?

1. I don't understand German (okay, I do, but not this horrifying words in this long complicated texts, teachers want me to analyze, I mean WTF?)

2. I need to approve in 6 Subjects (Math, English, German or History, Philosophy, Chemistry and Biology), and I only see my self going threw at least two, but it calms me quite a lot that people know I'm not a German Pro or something (I mean people, not to be racist or something, but my color can only pass as a weird combination of Spanish, French, Geman and MEXICAN! For gods sakes, it's not a coincidence that I'm the only one with a "tan" in winter), that way they can take it easy with me and maybe be nice.

3. If I fail, I'll have to return to a new mexican school, which I don't want to because this will lower my profile for collage, university and so my expectations will decrease immediately to Housewife. But lets be positive about it all and cross this last thing out.

- Returning to a world that forgot to click the Pause button the moment I left. But why?

1. I had differences with my family before coming, there is either one of two, we solved them, or they increased.

2. My sister have always been my parents "queen", because apparently I'm strong enough to take care of my self. The less thing that I want is the night that I flight back she's the center of attention. I'd make a hole on me for the rest of my life.

3. Going to a class that got used to "survive" with an empty chair, or a replaced one, to changes where I'm not included in.

4. Losing a best friend, being a duo, bro's, dudes, pals, mates, buddies, blah blah; making the decision to live without the one and only person that truly understands my craziness and "originality", and at some point in the path losing communication, missing random moments, and not being sure they will come back. 

5. Losing a group of pretty-well-almost-best-friends, which I literally haven't got anything in common during a year.

- Forgetting the fairytale.

1. Having new friends, new relationships, new Facebook contacts, that now we share everyday's life, then will share some stuff and in a few years I'll be the exchange student that once was in my class.

2. Getting used to a new life style, where you can't really compare to the old one, it's just different, but you created this alone, and coming back to the old one alone might also be hard.

3. Growing independently, returning to a ruled "cage".

4. Leaving my family, I just met this guys, they are awesome.

5. Leaving an important person, that one boy that at first was a fling but now I'm not quite sure, and later, who knows; oh, wait! we know! thousands of kilometers goes in the way.

Reasons why I don't regret for taking this risk;

1. Learning a language harder than winning a Math contest against a Chinese.

2. Having an experience that just few get to live.

3. Knowing the world from a different point of view.

4. Discovering powers in my self, I never thought I would have.

5. Feelings with no possible explanation.

6. New places to cross out from the list.

7. A wider way of thinking and processing information.

8. A really big list of reasons and arguments I can't even start with; that is making me write whatever pops into my mind, and make me sound like a OMG girly person or as an advertisement for Exchange Programs.

My "year" (11 months), is almost 60% gone, sometimes it's happy, sometimes it's sad, sometimes I'm homesick, sometimes I'm curious, sometimes I'm excited, sometimes I'm exhausted, sometimes I'm... You could say I'm either PMS all the time, or in the menopause, neither seems logical but to say I'm mentally ill, well the correct term to describe me is PAWH, the definition is a non ordinary "lady" who decided to explore the little crazy planet of ours, from jumping to the other extreme of the circular figure  into a half empty half full Coloring Book, that sometimes decides to feel equal, sometimes decides to feel different and sometimes these both happen without her deciding anything, some of this times are in the black and white section, some of the others are in the colored section and some are found in between the process of taking a pencil color and start painting and into the "hey! mom! the 4-year-old draw the cow purple and I wanted it green!". But even after all the messy mess, I would quote Mc Donald's or anybody who loves a lamp... I love it, even when... and I still got time to enjoy it a few more days, still I've got the rest of my life to figure it out and to keep enjoying.

I literally got it all out (well not all, but the most of it).

- Luisa Alcocer.

San Valentine's... You Sure?!

What is San Valentine's Day?? Hmm... Yeah!... It's a day when the people from the world get divided in two:

- "The Taken", this people who have someone to five a rose and chocolates to, the ones that can write a love letter to somebody, those who over react because they are so excited the day finally came.

- "The Singles" or "The Haters", people that you can't actually say if they are okay with this single thing or if they really wish to have a relationship, they seem to hate February, 14th but they are not able to really explain why they just complain all day long.

Me my the other side, I'm not sure what to think about this day, basically I'm okay with it existing and I've always have been. I'm not really into it as the whole american marketing style, I mean why do couples have to choose this day to do something extraordinary, something different, something special. Why does he decides to show you how much he loves you with a detail in this day and not when the thought comes to his mind... Right?!

Yesterday, the first time in my life I'm not in the second group. And for the first time I got the point of this day, not as the main objective but as what this day means to me. This day is a day when you can get to tell others you are taken and you get to be romantic in public, show everybody how happy you are with your couple. San Valentines happens every year, such as Mothers Day, or Your Birthday, it's a day where partners get to 'celebrate'. And as an advise I would tell to the people who think they are "Forever Alone", you're not, the time will come and only if you want it you would stay as you are, but as they say there's plenty of fish in the lake (sea doesn't apply in this advise), you just need to be in the right lake at the right time cause you're a goldfish to another fisher.

Remember you worth a lot, just as you are, so please, for me, smile and express yourself!

- Luisa Alcocer.

Quite German... You Could Say

Before I start to write something I want to make my point clear, this words I decided to write and you to read are only to entertain, they come from me and no one else and are not, in any way meant to offend someone.

I've been living in Germany for about half a year, maybe a few weeks more and the legend says (maybe even the text books) that the people from this lands have a bit of a sentimental relationship with beer, specially in the month of October. There is also said and proved that you can go threw this worldwide famous Autobahns with no speed limit, thing that in my opinion coming from Mexico this idea is kind of crazy and out of the road, because everybody knows with what sort of drivers we count in the Sombrero Territory. I can also add and tell in a 100% that you get a mini tiny heart-attack that moment when this tall blond all german person answers you with a "NEIN!" in a serious way (which by the way is really rare, they seem to live smile on their face).

We can't forget to mention the grandma that loves to bake this christmas cookies with cinnamon taste even when we're still in September, or that in those cold winter days prepares the delicious Cacao with walnuts flavor. And talking about food one of the biggest cliches of the German History, almost everything is based on a diet of Wurste und Kartoffeln, but let me tell you it's easy to get used to them, I like 'em.

When you talk about meetings (with friends), exactitude in the clock is the clue, it seems they were born with the natural talent of punctuality. Once you arrive (me, late), you see this long picnic wooden tables, food everywhere and this awesome music with the ideal rhythm to take the beer from one side to another and say "Prost!" (Cheers!).

I told you a part of my impression up to date; I also think there are some stereotypes about Mexico which at some point have to be taken out of the box, but till now we leave it like that.

- Luisa Alcocer

YouTube Mania

Okay to get it started with let me be clear that some years ago I didn't quite understood YouTube... Yeah! Of course to search for a song (or the lyrics) or to look at silly people doing stupid stuff (extremely stupid stuff), but not quite a long time ago I started to get more into this young people who decided to talk to a camera about all and about nothing, but still I wasn't completely into this... When I came to Germany I met this girl, that wow she is a YouTube fan and she kinda explained all to me and introduced me to the real YouTube universe [Thank you!].

So this other side of YouTube is not dark but you can say is tiny world inside ours, teenagers and guys/girls not older than 25 talking about their life, giving their opinion, and Puff! They have fans only because they had they had the idea and the guts to go out and just express themselves and have fun. We can add that this people not only record videos and all, they get to know each other, help each other and appear in each others videos, sharing channels, growing friendships and all; the best of all comes at the party, every year this YouTubers go to an event in London called Summer in the City where they get to talk with fans and they get to make a big party. Now I watch YouYube at least every two days and I follow this awesome people whom I really admire at some point... After all, I got the idea of creating a real YouTube Channel and start posting videos about all and about nothing, because it seems a bit interesting to me (and I want lots of fans, and people buying t-shirts of me).

In this exact moment, all there is, is a brainstorm of what to make my first video about.Will see what comes out.

- Luisa Alcocer

A Post About Me

I still don't understand a lot about this blogger world but I think is time to make a little introduction about my self (even though it's only my second post, and it's kinda weird to talk with a screen).

Well no ID information but some of the details of my life, lets go! I'm an old teenager and I was born and raised in Mexico City by both of my parents, such as my sister (she's 7 years older than me). I always was this different girl but not really the bullied one, just the different one, since I was a little girl I use to analyze everything with clarity, I don't say things I don't need to say, and I always try to be tolerance and have peace and stability inside me.

Last year I got the crazy idea to go on adventure and experience an exchange year in Germany, I had many obstacles of all kind to go threw this plan, and I found out that not giving up is the one and only step to make your dreams come true. So right now I'm living in this tiny island somewhere in this amazing country which in my next post I'll talk a bit about it and my impression from it. This means that exactly five months and a half I flew here, leaving my school (and take a risk at a German Gymnasium), leaving friends (and see who's really there for you), leaving family (and learn to be "alone"); but coming to a new family, to new people that suddenly becomes friends, to a recreation of the Grim Brothers' fairytales' lands.

See you next time (hopefully next week).

-Luisa Alcocer

Hello?!

Hmmm. This is awkward.

I guess saying HELLO is a good start with this all blogger thing, since I'm a newie, I'm not quite sure of the reason of me doing this, but I seem to be a little attracted to writing about everything but at the same time about nothing, I've done this a few times and some of my friends have told me about going big and sharing, what ever, I hope you guys enjoy my future posts which hopefully this won't be the first and last, and now and then I'll try to post some of my other "so called" talents. And I promess once I have a little bit more confidence in this "everybody reads what you say" stuff I'll tell you (people from all around the world) a bit more about my crazy life and about my self.

Hmmm. Yes, definitely awkward. It seems like I'm talking with my self in front of other people (well I do do that some times, but this time I'm not actually saying anything out loud). Think is the time to say GOODBYE or this is going to get really weird.

-Luisa Alcocer